Oh, Boy…

Well, I made it through the night– and now I’ll have to make it through the day, too. Vlad is coming over, and it is going to be hard to stay awake. However, it is a necessary thing, because it will put me on a good schedule again… I have to go to my dad’s house tomorrow morning to get my oil changed. I’ve been running the car pretty hard, even knowing that it needed an oil change.

I believe I am insane when it comes to my cars. I name them. Just like my knives, I just have to name them. I have dual daggers named Kono and Hana (anyone who knows Japanese will tell you that they respectively mean “that” and “flower”, however, together, “konohana” is the name of an important figure in Shinto belief, if I am not mistaken. Others might recognize it as the woodsprite from Okami). My pocket-knife’s name is Shiko (as in Death-child). And I have an ornamental katana named Kekkon (which could either translate to bloodstain or marriage. The scabbard and hilt have red speckles on them, like blood, hence the name. But the potential double meaning of the word prompted me to write a story when I got it well over a year ago).

As for cars, my first one I named Senri, which basically means “one thousand units of travel” which was ironic, because I only had him for a week before he was rendered undrivable by means out of my control. No, I didn’t wreck him. He wrecked himself. He was not much younger than me. Next was Kyou, which at the time I mistakenly thought meant “strength” but learned that it meant “today”. Woops. After I crashed Kyou, I eventually ended up with my current car. I waffled back and forth over what to name her, and eventually decided on “Ashita” which means “tomorrow”. See what I did there?

But yes. This had absolutely no relevance whatsoever to anything. It is just an amusing story about how I name just about everything that I love. (In fact, my guitar was named after a character I never got to add into a story. Zucotzo. It doesn’t mean anything. I just liked how it sounded, but never got to use it because I scrapped his story. I also have a hand-blown glass dagger that’s handle is a purple dragon with gilded horns. I named him Spyro, of course!) This post is mainly to keep me awake until Vlad gets here. What we will do today, I don’t know. Probably game, watch funny videos, and go out to eat… so I should be kept awake fairly easy, as long as I’m entertained. Wish me luck!


I Don’t Understand!

I think I have food poisoning, or something. This is coming from someone who can dare to eat nearly-raw steak (om nom yum). I woke up too early feeling like I had heartburn– only it was down in my stomach, trying to claw its way up my esophagus with cleats and a pick-axe, mountain-climber style. So in addition to feeling like that, I went to work, and every time I would get into my work, moving quickly, doing things, one of two things would happen. One: I would suddenly see all white for a moment and become light-headed or dizzy, or feel pain in my head or ringing of the ears. Like someone biffed me in the head with a 2-by-4. Two: my stomach would abruptly tell me that I should go sit down, or it would assert authority by rejecting what little was left in my stomach.

So when I was waiting in the bathroom last night, unsure if I would get sick again, I was reading one of my 3 or 4 books on learning Japanese and missed how fun it was to learn the language. I missed the feeling of being a part of something that made me think of a future that right now seems unattainable. On top of that, I realized that I was thirsty for that culture (and water. I needed water, but was afraid to get up). So I read until I felt strong enough to go back to sleep. When I woke up again a few hours later, I sat on the edge of my bed, feet pointed toward the bathroom door, book open on my lap.

So what does this have to do with the price of tea in China (cliche’d phrase, I know)? While I was reading, I suddenly thought “I have 15 days until the next issue of Skip Beat is released in Japanese. It will take a while for anyone to translate it, won’t it?” and then I looked at the stack of books, and my laptop, and thought “I could totally translate the next issue! It would be a great way to learn and feed my obsession. Kill two birds with one stone (cliche’d phrase #2. Somebody stop me), and it could help fellow fans of the manga who don’t have the resources I do!” So I decided right then that when I woke up the 20th of this month, I would find that chapter, and I would make a mad dash at translating. It will likely be the hardest thing I’ve ever done– but it will be extremely rewarding. Especially reading back over it, reading it as it was meant to be read, free of grammatical errors (the one drawback of Internet scanlations: horrendous grammar is more common than big eyes in a manga).

Anyway, having survived work without throwing up, I’m proud of myself, and so I will proceed to lie around in bed until I manage to pass out. I still feel that burn in my stomach, and I worry that it will wake me up. I just hope it isn’t salmonella, or something that will last a while, like the flu. Around here, there has been a stomach virus going around. I don’t know how it could possibly be passed on, especially since I haven’t come into contact with someone with it in any way that would pass it on to me. At least, not that I know of.

Must Sleep

I don’t understand this, but lately I have been getting more sleep than ever, and eating more than ever. Perhaps it is the promise of large meals that is keeping my stomach noisy, but in any case, it is becoming annoying… Anyway, I’m going to go to sleep, and when I wake up, I will have to do a laundry list of things… Tomorrow will be my actual Thanksgiving day, and then I will most likely have a second one on Saturday. In other words, by time Monday rolls around, I will have consumed enough turkey to last until next year. Best thing about Thanksgiving: leftovers.

Sure Hope This Goes Well

I’m home alone, now, and I’ve been up since 5:30 am. I feel like I’m going to pass out any moment now… but I really want to work on that drawing. I have most of the first step done, and if I keep on it I should have it finished by 1 am, but… I am just afraid that I will end up sacrificing quality due to exhaustion. I’m stuck here. Do I make some hot tea and stay up half the night playing old Spyro games and working on a drawing, or do I get some rest and hope I have the inspiration necessary to work on it tomorrow? I’m not sure about anyone else, but for some reason, the sunlight takes away my will to draw things. Makes no sense, but whatever.

I elect the idea involving caffeine. Just hope I don’t have more chest pain. And maybe some cute music will wake me up (Ah, classic Spyro games… your soundtracks forever haunt me in a good way.)

Ah, and now I officially want to listen to chains upon chains of beautiful OSTs. Final Fantasy X, Dark Cloud, Shadow of the Colossus, Ico, Destroy All Humans, Castlevania: Lament of Innocence… and others. Anyone who does not think video games are art truly does not understand the concept of art, am I right? If movies are art, what makes them art? The embodiment of an idea, or a way to evoke a feeling or response from an audience. That is what art is! Video games such as Shadow of the Colossus do that through engaging gameplay and an UTTERLY FLAWLESS soundtrack. Not to mention the gorgeous story with that completely unexpected ending– and the graphics! Oh, the graphics!

…Ahem… Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to start fangirl-ing.

In any case, that little rant alone gave me some energy. I will now listen to game soundtracks until the drawing is finished! I don’t have to work for a few days, so my sleeping pattern can be tweaked again. Yay for being young and able to manipulate sleeping patterns!

Anyhow, I might not post anything else tonight. I might collapse after finally finishing all editing, and not get around to posting anything until tomorrow… nonetheless, I’ll cross that hurdle eventually. Just as long as the sun doesn’t rise while I work…

Pause, Pause, Pause

As much as I hate to, I’m going to have to wait a while longer on that last view. I woke up about an hour ago and realized that I have 6 hours, roughly, to tidy up my apartment. Vlad is coming over, and he has OCD. I’ll leave it at that. Usually I don’t let my house get this out of hand, but depression (although I feel bad for blaming it on that, rather than my laziness) has been clawing at me for the past week or so. That is strange, too, considering it all but avoided my birthday, and then around it on both sides, I was miserable. Also, on top of that, I need to go shopping and get some pop or something that I can drink with those Airborne tablets. I woke up and my throat hurts. Yay.

Not to mention I have to stop by work today to get my schedule for the week, but that won’t be out until late today… And who knows how willing Vlad will be to go anywhere.

But before I do any of that, I need to eat something and make some tea. Or hot chocolate. I discovered after my last cup of hot chocolate that it was sugar-free. It tasted like ashes– and yes… for some reason, I know what that tastes like. And I am out of chocolate syrup, so I can’t really make it taste like chocolatey ashes…

Daily struggles! Anyway, I have way too much to do today, and I need to do as much of it as humanly possible before noon. Wish me luck! I hope that I will be able to get on here again today, but I can’t be sure that I will. When Vlad is here, he doesn’t allow me to touch my computer…

10 Facts About Nina

I decided to just throw this out there for no reason. Seriously, I have no idea what I’m doing this for. But, in any case, here goes nothing.

1. My favorite artist that sings in my native language is Seether.

2. My favorite artist that sings in a foreign language is Utada Hikaru.

3. When I become obsessed with something, I go through my extensive list of downloaded songs and make a playlist that reminds me of whatever I’m obsessing over. The list can reach up to 10 hours long.

4. I find it extremely hard to sleep if I don’t listen to music. I usually lean toward dark music, preferably metal– and the reason is that when I was a kid, I told myself that bad things were afraid of dark music, and if I played dark music while I sleep, they won’t bother me. Of course, I always knew I was lying to myself, but it sure works.

5. I have the awkward ability to play music in my head. Nearly any song that I’ve heard before, I can play back in my head like a stereo. Also, when someone asks me how a song goes, most times I can just sing any given part of the song until they remember it. On top of that, when I am listening to the radio with people, and a song comes on that I’ve heard before, I can tell you what song it is, who it’s by, sometimes what album it is off of– all within the first 3 seconds.

6. I will twist my own arm off in an attempt to not be rude. Seriously, perhaps it’s because I have always been in an environment where everyone is rude to each other, with a lot of it pointed at me.

7. I don’t like roses, really. If someone wanted to give me a symbol of love, I’d prefer one that doesn’t wilt. I would like something emblazoned with the Celtic knot– a symbol of unending true love.

8. I gave up on fame before I reached high school. By the time I was in high school, I realized it would be literally impossible for me to become famous for my singing. For one, I am not terribly good, but also I am afraid of people. Being in front of a crowd terrifies me.

9. I don’t keep secrets about myself. I feel that if you try to keep something hidden, people will eventually find it out and spread it so that it becomes a bigger ordeal than it would have been originally. However, if someone trusts me enough to tell me a secret, I sure as hell won’t betray them.

10. When something lodges in my mind, I can only dislodge it in certain ways. For example: right now I am hearing the sound the baby turtles make in the second Spyro game. That means that I want to play that game. Until I play that game, I will continue to hear that excruciatingly annoying noise.

(Insert Something Interesting Here)

I have some news, kind of. I was invited to join a group on dA (a metal group ^_^), which is awesome. I don’t know how they came across me, really, but it makes me feel glad that they did. I haven’t posted anything on there in a looong time, other than bios of characters from The Door. With how busy I’ve been lately, I haven’t had the chance to do any artistic things. I haven’t even been able to sing like I used to.

I just realized something. Earlier, when I was asleep, Vlad called me and woke me up and asked me if I had to work Wednesday. I said I wouldn’t know until probably tomorrow. He said to tell him as soon as possible… I just woke up in my mind, just now, typing… and Wednesday is my birthday. Is he planning something?!

Yeah, it takes me a while to wake up, I guess. I have been up for about an hour now… I still need to run to my mom’s house and spend some time with her before I go to that work-meeting. It will be the first time in quite a while that I attend a work-meeting. I’m a bit excited, which I suppose is a bit funny. However, to those of you who don’t understand what a joy it is to have a job, no matter how “lowly” it may seem, the simple fact is that it is a privilege to work. Especially here of late. Sometime next month, the company that my cousin works at will suddenly shut down. The employees don’t even know when their last day will be. I understand how terrifying it is to be without a job, and I know that time goes on, even when we need it to slow down for us.

I guess I’ve been jumping all over the place in this post, but I am truly at a strange place right now. I keep dreaming about that manga, and I think about it right before I go to sleep, and right when I wake up. Do you understand just how weird that is for me? Rarely do even my OWN stories get me this worked up. It’s terrifyingly amazing.

However, in my last post, I said that it was causing me heart pains. That was most likely a coincidence. I called my doctor and he told me that it was probably too much caffeine. Which I guess could be plausible. I drink nothing but water, since it’s the only thing I have in the house. I get to work and immediately drown myself in caffeinated drinks. Usually it doesn’t bother me, seriously, but if that is what it is, it won’t happen anymore. However, if it persists, I guess we could call those instances panic attacks?

Anyway, sorry if I didn’t make sense much throughout this post. After all, I just woke up, and I will probably forget entirely that I wrote this in about thirty minutes. So…

When did I write this?