Let it Ensue.

Well, over the course of one day and a sleepless night, I proofread, edited, and FINALLY FINISHED THE STORY of The Door. Yes, I finally finished. That makes it the first story I’ve ever entirely finished. In entirety. Ever, so far. I will remind you that I’ve been writing stories since 3rd grade.

So, yeah. In the near future, maybe I’ll find a publisher that can help me out– and then we’ll have ourselves a novel!

Excitement aside, I’m going to bite the bullet and get to work tonight. My original idea is going to have to wait a while, so until then, I’ll get into the thick of it. As for games to start with… I have a bit of more good news. Due to a string of events I don’t want to explain at this time, I managed to get a free PS3! I have Prototype, Soul Calibur IV, and Ni No Kuni (which was made by Level 5, same people who made Dark Cloud and Dark Chronicle! I see many simularities so far!) Sounds good, right? I’m still wondering at this moment which game I’ll play, or whether I’ll just go for my PS2 games first…. Grrr…

If any of these new games interest you, please tell me! I intend to do this in earnest, so I do actually need some feedback. I won’t be able to get any more games for months, and if this doesn’t take off immediately, I might lose the possibility of pursuing it further. Any support is welcome.

So that’s all for this update. I should have another one tonight while I’m editing the footage.

Okay, Guys. Down to Business. Calling All Gamers!

Well, here we are. I have the basic equipment I needed for the gameplay videos. Now I just need to find out what game to start with. I should probably start out with some relatively short games, so Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, and a few others would work well, however I wanted to wait until we have a PS3 so we can play the newer edition– at least for Ico, since that will unlock 2p capabilities.

Anyhow, I also have the capability to play such games as Don’t Starve, and quite a few SNES games using an emulator (Most of these SNES games are from my early childhood, and I am excited to play them. In fact, a few of them, I dare say, started me on the path of the gamer. A few are Mickey Mania, Paperboy, Donkey Kong, and a few others. I intend to get some that I missed out on as a kid, such as Fire Emblem and Chrono Trigger– and for the horror lovers, Clock Tower).

So yes, any suggestions will be heard! The list of games I own for PS2 are in this post: https://myonlyreality.wordpress.com/2013/11/10/list-of-games-i-have-to-replay-due-to-memory-card-destruction/

Life-Altering Changes

A great deal has happened. In fact, enough has changed that it left my family shocked– and even me.

I left Vlad recently. I feel that, even though I am grateful to him for helping me through these years, I appreciated him more as a friend than as a lover. It was the first time I’d ever broken up with someone, and it was… painful for both of us. I decided that I would rather leave him now than wait 3 to 7 years from now when we’re at the altar. I thought that it would hurt him less now than then.

There is no sugar-coat to the words I’m about to say: I found someone else, and that was the catalyst to my leaving Vlad. I know that sounds bad, but I like to pride myself on my honesty. I’m sure there are a lot of things that should be said, but I think it proper that I not speak that freely about the tender feelings of the wounded. I still love Vlad as a friend, and I would never slander him on my blog– I have no cause to. Anyone who has read my other posts know what an impact he had on me, and how much he helped me become who I am today.

In other news… I will start doing online videos very soon. I need to figure out my new equipment, as well as what I can do. I will have time in the future to start working on stories again, and I will start looking into publications– so that way I can upload a few of my short stories for your enjoyment.

And finally, I would like to say that I am in a great deal of pain. I know that seems slightly random or whiny… I don’t mean for it to be that way. I am putting this down for reference. I have been in excruciating pain for roughly three weeks now. It is difficult to walk and nearly impossible to sleep. The pain is deep in my right hip’s joint. Every step I take puts pressure not only on something that feels dislocated, but also applies strain to my other hip, which causes sharp pain throughout my pelvis. When at rest, no matter what position, sitting, laying, or standing, the pain in my right hip is so great that it feels like someone harpooned me through said joint, and the pain goes down to my knee, and sometimes even to the ankle in liquid spurts of agony.

Usually, when this happens, it only lasts a couple of weeks and then goes away almost as swiftly as it arrives, but this time it not only persists but has gotten worse than it ever had before. Heat, ice, rest– none of these do any good whatsoever. So please, keep me in your prayers, if you don’t mind.

But like I said earlier, I am not griping. Mostly, I am just stating why I am limited to my house for now. I missed a lot of work over this hip.

Anyway, I’ll keep you all posted on my youtubing. Just keep an eye out. I am back now– and I won’t disappear again. In fact, I will even start drawing again in the near future– I am getting a new item in the mail in a few days, hopefully, that will allow me the ability to draw via paint shop pro 8– I really hope it will be compatible. The only thing I’ll need then is a nice stylus– and then I’ll be set. I will then start on all the things I’ve been meaning to begin. Concept art, and all that jazz.

I’ve been getting into more games lately– and I see an end to my debt! Everything will go fine, within the next month or so. I might even have a PS3, and eventually, a PS4. Anyhow, I’ll have plenty to talk to you guys about in my next post. Any questions not involving the breakup will be answered. Drop me a line!

Ah, A Reprive

Well, I think I’ll be able to get the hang of this soon enough. I am in the middle of a three-day weekend of sorts. I even turned my phone off (which may not have been a good idea, but I had the feeling that I would just continue to be stressed out if I was glancing at the phone every two minutes) I have not gamed in a while, although I do have Minecraft on my computer now. I worked really hard to make a cool looking house– and then moved on to another area. I can’t find any sheep though. I found enough to make one bed– but I’m afraid if I kill any more of them, I’ll be doomed.

Also, work on Zetty’s story has come to a grinding halt. So much of a halt that I haven’t even dreamt about things for her story in over a week. On the other hand, Overfide, my newest outlet of insanity, has been taking massive leaps in production. For anyone who missed the post on that, Overfide is something that hit me like a lead brick. To the face. Multiple times. With the force of a train.

Thanks to Overfide, I have once again tapped into that gory place in my brain that I haven’t been able to write from in ages. Let me give you an example of what I mean. A few weeks ago, I was really sleep-deprived and typing a memo to myself. Basically, trying to start a conversation with myself. Did I mention I was tired? Anyway, so I was typing, and suddenly:

“i just…. i havent’ had any fodder for writing, other than the story that has been dragging me by the hair. first Zetty’s story, then that flirtatious vampire story, and now this. This monster/masterpiece that attacked me. A story devoted to fear itself. Something everyone can relate to… although perhaps the story is more painful than i can let on. It is making me dredge things from the drain that is covered in dried blood. i’m clawing at it, trying to get it open. fingernails broken. fingertips busted. biting my tongue to keep from screaming with pain and or frustration….
my brain has been in this dark, dark place for a while. and i don’t know why. it is strange, and kind of enthralling….”

The next day, I recalled that I had typed something, and had no memory of what it was I had actually concocted. Upon reading it, I just sat there, feeling along the walls of my mind for that door that had been closed for so long. It is still open. I can finally write the way I once did.

There was a time when, when I wrote, I would stare into the screen, my fingers blurring over the keyboard, for up to 4 hours. And then, upon stopping, I would marvel at what I had produced, because, at that “delicate” age for me, this dark, terrible, tragic stuff that I was writing (about murder and the like, to be general) was coming out of nowhere, as if I were not the one truly writing it. Sometimes it’s still like that.

Oh, and some good news that is in no way related to what I just wrote: I should be able to get out of debt relatively quickly, if I could just find my landlord. She still leaves notes on my door, but I can’t find her, and when I call her, it goes straight to voicemail. This is worrisome, but I am confident that it will work out.

And an afterword: if anyone is interested in that “flirtatious vampire story” I mentioned in my night-time rant, tell me in the comments!

 

Oh, Boy…

Well, I made it through the night– and now I’ll have to make it through the day, too. Vlad is coming over, and it is going to be hard to stay awake. However, it is a necessary thing, because it will put me on a good schedule again… I have to go to my dad’s house tomorrow morning to get my oil changed. I’ve been running the car pretty hard, even knowing that it needed an oil change.

I believe I am insane when it comes to my cars. I name them. Just like my knives, I just have to name them. I have dual daggers named Kono and Hana (anyone who knows Japanese will tell you that they respectively mean “that” and “flower”, however, together, “konohana” is the name of an important figure in Shinto belief, if I am not mistaken. Others might recognize it as the woodsprite from Okami). My pocket-knife’s name is Shiko (as in Death-child). And I have an ornamental katana named Kekkon (which could either translate to bloodstain or marriage. The scabbard and hilt have red speckles on them, like blood, hence the name. But the potential double meaning of the word prompted me to write a story when I got it well over a year ago).

As for cars, my first one I named Senri, which basically means “one thousand units of travel” which was ironic, because I only had him for a week before he was rendered undrivable by means out of my control. No, I didn’t wreck him. He wrecked himself. He was not much younger than me. Next was Kyou, which at the time I mistakenly thought meant “strength” but learned that it meant “today”. Woops. After I crashed Kyou, I eventually ended up with my current car. I waffled back and forth over what to name her, and eventually decided on “Ashita” which means “tomorrow”. See what I did there?

But yes. This had absolutely no relevance whatsoever to anything. It is just an amusing story about how I name just about everything that I love. (In fact, my guitar was named after a character I never got to add into a story. Zucotzo. It doesn’t mean anything. I just liked how it sounded, but never got to use it because I scrapped his story. I also have a hand-blown glass dagger that’s handle is a purple dragon with gilded horns. I named him Spyro, of course!) This post is mainly to keep me awake until Vlad gets here. What we will do today, I don’t know. Probably game, watch funny videos, and go out to eat… so I should be kept awake fairly easy, as long as I’m entertained. Wish me luck!

Well, Isn’t that Sweet?

Hello again, denizens of the webiverse! I am back again, and have some good(?) news for you all.

I am officially working two jobs now. Yup. Official and all that jazz. i start on thirds Thursday evening. I am excited to pull this off. So excited, in fact, that I’m typing too fast and making lots of typos. I swear, for every letter I type, I hit the backspace button at least once.

In other news……

Wait. That’s all?!

Eh, it seemed like more.

I’ve been playing Okami a lot. It cheers me up when I’m sad. You know, with the amazing soundtrack, stellar story… Anyway.

Now that I have both jobs, and one of them will be producing a sizable amount of moolah, even if the other one offers only scant hours, I should be able to pay off my debt quickly, if not easily. All without getting a loan.

Vlad and my anniversary is coming up. It is the 25th, and we will have been together for 4 years! I’m hoping that I can find something for him that won’t throw me too off with my bills. But what do you buy an adult child who has everything he wants (and the only things i know he likes are waaaaay out of my budget)?!

But, you know, life is going on. I’ve had my ups and downs lately, depression-wise. It’s kind of steady. I just wonder how that will be when Vlad moves to Lexington without me. I haven’t told you guys yet, I bet, but I am not going after all. It’s too much of a risk, and… well… Vlad basically said he’d rather me stay here. I have more here if I need help. So even though I don’t want to be that far away, I guess it’s just something we’ll have to do.

And I haven’t given up on doing let’s plays, either. I don’t have the software or hardware for it yet, but once I save up enough for it, I won’t waste time.

If you have any questions about the new project, or anything else, feel free to ask. When I am conscious again, I will answer!

Wish me luck. I have to stay up all night tonight and half of the day tomorrow to effectively screw up my sleeping patterns again. Third~shifts~!