Why I Hate Social Interaction

Aside from the fact that I am still completely awkward in social situations, I have decided that the main reason I am not social, really, is because I can’t formulate words correctly in everyday speech unless I’m somehow functioning overboard, in which case I sound like a know-it-all who uses thesaurus words like bubble gum. When it comes to talking to people on a day-to-day basis, unless they know me and like the same things I like, or are somewhat awkward like me, I come off as a complete moron. Either that, or a schizophrenic. That was my defense mechanism in school: make them think you’re insane, and they’ll stop asking you to help with their work. It worked, but it made it hard to make any friends.

So what is my strong point, then? Writing. From a young age, I took writing and it made me somewhat normal. Not according to my peers (I would hear things like “what are you writing? what class is that for?” and when I told them I was writing for fun, they would either just look at me like I was stupid, or would ask if there was something wrong with me), but it gave me a relative normality. It got to where my writing outreached my speech. Plus, my voice is a bit annoying, so writing isn’t really the worse of the two means of communication.

In other words, I write much better than I speak, unless certain circumstances are provided, where I need to speak somewhat formally. Perhaps this is another reason why I want to learn Japanese so badly? To be apart of a culture that values intellect more than it’s valued here (at least in the general area in which I live)? A country that places the same amount of focus, if not more, on intelligence as opposed to beauty… It’s a place that haunts my dreams.

Well, that aside, now you understand why I feel much more at home in front of my keyboard than in front of a microphone. I am still riding that wave of excitement and happiness from yesterday, if you can’t tell by how cheerful I’ve written (or is it only I that can tell the difference in mood based off which words I use and how I use them?), so I apologize if what I’ve typed doesn’t seem entirely coherent. I get a bit carried away when I’m excited. It’s the one time that I function just as uselessly in public as when writing.


5 thoughts on “Why I Hate Social Interaction

  1. (Like always this will probably end up derailing your post and turn it onto my end, I realize that keeps happening; actually that goes quite well this time because you mentioned how you drove people away because you have little input to what they say while I will turn the topic towards me to get the ground advantage in a conversation, so two sides to the awkwardness coin!.)

    It is better to come off as the moron than the know-it-all, the former has a higher number count than the latter and thusly has more similar minded people therein; know-it-alls tend to hate each other because of ego issues. Plus people tend to have little grasp of the things know-it-alls say and it always ends up confusing the other person or going over their heads; you always hear the phrase “dumb it down” and never “smart it up”. Timothy and a few others I talk to on a frequent basis tend to write things I say off as stupid or disregard the meaning because they cannot comprehend the wordings I choose, even if attempting to dumb things down for them.

    Writing is a much better way to express thought, unless you’re really quick at processing your words (which most people aren’t); in fact quick processing almost always makes one default into the much dumber wording of things, such as using more frequent swearing, limited vocabulary, etc. Plus, unless you’re a really terrible writer, you don’t default to “tick” words ever few words such as this: Like that like totally like guy over there like totally like looked over here like likelikelikelikelike.

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