I haven’t ranted about something in a long time, have I?
Well, some of the following is actually going to be a restatement of my last post. I posted this to deviantArt, to explain why I probably wouldn’t upload another picture today– and then somehow it turned into a rant about how I am made fun of at work.
Vlad is coming over today, so I woke up and had to start cleaning. He’s OCD and with how tired and upset I’ve been lately, I haven’t cleaned. So I did it today, and have about an hour and a half before he shows up. When he gets here, I will not be able to draw, or use the computer… so it might be midnight before I get back on here– which will be too late to draw anything. In all liklihood, I will have to work mornings tomorrow…
But I need to push myself to draw my character today! If I don’t, I’m afraid I will never get around to it. That is basically why I hadn’t drawn anything in a month’s time. Too busy with work and my terrible state of mind to do anything productive not only in drawing things, but writing, gaming, and even subtitling videos. Seriously, I almost quit singing, too. I have just been in a terrible state lately…
But drawing those two pictures has given me a large leap in confidence. I am very happy with how I did– and it makes the miserable experience of working with high schoolers who treat me like an idiot a little less degrading. Because, hey, at least I don’t have to put people down because they are interested in things I don’t understand.
To anyone who’s interested: Yes, I am made fun of at my new job by people who are still in high school. I am not as pretty, or as “cool” or as fit as them, and I learn Japanese purely for the fun of it and because I love the language. I sing under my breath while I’m at work– but only half of the songs I sing regularly are Japanese. When I sing a song in English, they still tell me “Shut up with that Chinese crap” even though it was ABSOLUTELY clear that I was singing in English. If they are listening enough to hear that I’m singing, they should be able to hear what language I’m singing in!
Furthermore, I have had stabs of depression while at work, sometimes due to things I overhear. These kids will talk about irresponsible things they have done, and all that crap you expect from teenagers trying to one-up each other on “how wild they get” and etc… and it brings back memories that are best left in their graves. I end up having to ignore everything I hear that isn’t work-related so I don’t have to run outside for a breath of peace.
Now, I am a work-oriented person. I don’t try to make trouble, and even if I seriously dislike someone, I will work with them, side by side, without making problems arise. I don’t try to make everyone’s life a living hell while I’m at work simply because I don’t like who I work with… It’s work. I’m being paid to work with these people. If I do my job correctly and without hostility, the experience is nice and everyone involved can walk away with a smile. I seem to be one of very few people who believe in this concept. Work is not for making people feel like crap– it is for working and earning money– and to achieve whatever particular goal set by the employers. In my case: making sandwiches.
Here’s the kicker: I love the opposite shift. Mornings are filled with people who do their job, don’t make waves, and are a TEAM. In fact, two of the girls there went out of their way to run to a store across the street and get hairspray and hair clips to DO MY HAIR because I am inept when it comes to hair. I’m lucky to get it in a sloppy ponytail, especially with how short it is. And then they complimented me on it pretty much all day.
But put me on nights, and they all talk about Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber and 1 Direction, and all that stupid crap– and then they insult my taste in music and my choice of pastime. I would rather learn songs in a foreign language or listen to metal than go out and do ANY of the stuff they talk about doing!!!
So as you can see, I am in a bit of a predicament. As much as I love first shift, I will have to do 2nd shift primarily, unless I get a 3rd shift job instead of the one I’m confident I’ll be getting between Christmas and New Years– which will be a part time 1st shift job. Until then, I am actually considering switching to just 1st shift where I am now, mainly because I enjoy the team-oriented workplace.
And lastly, I just want to say one thing: I do not hate my job, and I do not hate working– I just wish that there were more people on 2nd shift who have the same concept of work as most of the people on 1st shift.