Here’s Hoping

Well, here we are again. I woke up just a little while ago, and now I’m about to take some z-quil to go back to sleep. Hopefully, when I get up, I’ll have enough time to do everything I need to do, and then feel like sleeping when I am done. Seriously.

Also, I am making a pizza to eat while I wait for the medicine to kick in. You don’t really realize how little you’ve eaten until you put it in perspective. I haven’t eaten in at least 12 hours, and if I don’t eat before I go to sleep, it will probably have been about 24 hours. But, being as how I have been following that pattern for weeks now, I find it hard to notice.

I wonder if it is normal to simply not want to eat anymore– this coming from an emotional eater. Even my boyfriend commented that I was getting lighter when he picked me up. He kept hoisting me around “So light!” He kept saying. “Are you hollow?”

I sighed and nodded and he hugged me and said sorry.

If it weren’t for him and my mom, I wouldn’t have eaten anything at all, barely, since I lost my job over a month ago. As for those two jobs whose interviews went so well, neither have called me back yet, so I have to go into Persistent Mode.

That is my plan for tomorrow, put in more applications, and show up at both places. One, if I am tenacious enough, will give me the job immediately, but the other requires paperwork, a drug test, and a background check– all of which don’t bother me. The worst blemish on my record is being fired. But that’s why I’m having trouble. Which is sad.

So, here’s hoping that, thanks to z-quil, I will be able to get some sleep at night, for a change, and get a job tomorrow. After all, I like posting good news here. It sucks to not have any.


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